Friendship

Ham Naheen Chhodenge
We have only a few examples of friendship in our scriptures - Raam and Nishaad in Raamaayan; Krishn and Arjun and Drupad and Drone, and Duryodhan and Karn in Mahaabhaarat, and, Krishn and Sudaamaaa. All friendships are unique in their own sense. Let us see what types of friendships they are....

(1) Raam and Nishaad
Nishaad appears in Raamaayan first time when Raam, Lakshman and Seetaa go to exile and want to cross Gangaa River. Guh Nishaad comes to know that Raam is coming in his country, so he comes with his people carrying lots of food items. He invites Raam to come to his city, but Raam politely declines His offer saying that He was in exile that is why he could not enter his city. He serves Raam very well during the night, and next day in the morning when Raam asks him to take Him across Gangaa River, he very cleverly requests Him to wash His feet before embarking on his boat - "I have heard that even a stone turned into a woman by just a touch of your feet's dust, then what is wood for it? She was Muni's wife so she went to her husband. This is the only means of my living and I do not know another work, so if you want to go across Gangaa, ask me first to wash your feet. and I do not want any money for this service." Raam also smiled hearing this, so He politely replied - "You do whatever you like so that your boat does not disappear. Now you make haste because we are getting late to go across Gangaa." Remembering whose name just once, takes one across this Universe, the same Raam is looking at Nishaad to take Him across Gangaa.- how beautiful expression is this? When Raam wants to give him something for his services, but he says - "I have done lots of service to other people, but today I have got my real wages. I will gladly accept whatever you will give me when you will be back."

(2) Krishn and Arjun
Although Krishn and Arjun were cousins, but they were  more friends than cousins. What Krishn left doing for Arjun which He did not do for him? He helped Arjun to marry Draupadee - otherwise perhaps Karn could have hit the aim and married Draupadee. By His tactics, He became the charioteer of Arjun and guided his chariot through all the days of war. Even during the war period He kept Arjun's vows (by hiding the Sun and then making it appear) at the appropriate time, and instructing him at time to time helping him in winning the war. In fact His instructions start right from the first moment of the MBH war day by preaching Geetaa to him when he sat down in his chariot dropping his bow in the chariot and declaring - "I will not fight."

(3) Drone and Drupad.
Drone was the son of Muni Bharadwaaj and Drupad was the son of the King Prishat. Prishat and Muni Bbaradwaaj were very fast friends, so Drupad used to come to Bharadwaaj's Aashram often with his father and used to play with Bharadwaaj's son Drone. Thus they got educated together by Bharadwaaj Jee. In those days Drupad used to say to Drone - "Whatever is mine, half of it is yours." Although their friendship was good, but later, with time it faded to this extent that Drupad refused to accept Drone as his friend, So Drone defeated him through his disciples - Kaurav and Paandav, and then Drupad performed a Yagya to get a son - Dhrishtdyumn. who could kill Drone.

(4) Duryodhan and Karn
The first time Duryodhan and Karn meet in Rang Shaalaa of Kaurav and Paandav whenthey were demonstrating their skills in weapons to King Dhritraashtra and people of Hastinaapur. In order to declare Arjun the best archer of the world, Dronaachaarya stopped Karn to participate in that demonstration on the basis of that he was neither a prince or a king of any kingdom nor knew his Kul (family). A Soot-Putra could not be allowed to compete with Kshatriya princes. This enraged Duryodhan and considered him a future enemy of Paandav, so immediately he appointed him the King of Ang Desh, but something else was written in his Destiny. Karn became so grateful to him that up to the last breath he remained the friend of Duryodhan on the basis that "He helped me when everybody had neglected me and insulted me, only he supported me at that time."

Just before the MBH war began, in spite of knowing that he was Kuntee's eldest son and thus was the eldest Paandav, and if he could join his brothers he could be appointed the King of Hastinaapur;  he did not move from his friendship with Duryodhan. He gave his life for him only by fighting from his side, and by using the Power given by Indra in exchange of his Kavach and Kundal on Ghatotkach. Bheeshm did not allow him to fight under his Commandership (that happened to be 10 days), he even tolerated this insult also. Since he was appointed the King of Ang Desh, and was with Duryodhan, he was always insulted by Duryodhan's companions but he tolerated all that insult too, just because of the friendship of Duryodhan.

(5) Krishn and Sudaamaa
This story is of Bhagavaan and His real childhood friend. Sudaamaa was not His relative in any way, he was just real childhood friend of His Gurukul. It is said that Krishn ived n Grukul only for 8 months as he had finished His education in 8 months only. So he had the friendship of 8 months only. After that krish went on His own way and Sudaamaa went on his own way.

Later Sudaamaa got married, had children but remained very poor all the time. Once his wife heard that Krshn was Sudaamaa's childhood friend and He had become the King of Dwaarakaa, so she asked Sudaamaa to go to Him and ask something so that they could feed their children comfortably. First Sudaamaa did not like the idea, but later he got ready to go to Him, in the expectation that at least he would meet his friend after long time. Sudaamaa's wife gave him some Chivadaa (beaten rice) as a gift for his friend and sent him to see his friend.

Sudaamaa went to Dwaarakaa and met Krishn. Krishn welcomed him so warmly that everybody was surprised to see His behavior with His friend. Even Rukminee was also astonished to see behaving Krishn like this. Their friendship was like this that neither Sudaamaa asked anything from Krishn, nor Krishn asked Krishn anything about his needs. When Sudaamaa came back to his home, he found a big palace and many servants and maids working there. His wife and children were also roaming around in rich clothes and happy. He was surprised to see that how Krishn knew what he went for?

This is the best example of real friendship - Na Kuchh Tumane Kahaa, Na Kuchh Hamane Kahaa.... Phr Bhee Baat Ban Hee Gayee." - neither you said any thing, nor I said anything, still everything went well.

Conclusion
(1) Raam and Nishaad's friendship is never seen anywhere else, other than a brief description in the scriptures or literature, so it is difficult to decided how Nishaad was His friend and how Raam treated him later, and thus difficult to analyze.

(2) Krishn and Arjun's friendship, if seen minutely, was not a real friendship. Arjun was His cousin, besides Krishn says in Geetaa, "Among Paandav, I am Arjun." Thus Arjun was Krishn Himself.

(3) Drone and Drupad's friendship could have been a good friendship, but the way Drupad treated him very badly. So their  became was a black spot on the name of friendship. No friendship insults each other to the point that one has to ask a son to kill one's friend.

(4) Even Duryodhan and Karn's friendship was not at all true friendship. They had never met, in childhood or at any other time. This friendship was born under the shade of gratitude. This friendship was not based on mutual agreement but was based on gratefulness. Karn was only grateful to Duryodhan for being accepted in the society to the extent that he under the weight of it, he could not think of anything else than to work for the interests of Duryodhan. This was not a true friendship.

(5) The last examples of friendship, the friendship of Krishn and Sudaamaa is the example of true friendship. It can be compared only with Drone and Drupad  friendship as it also developed from the childhood times - Gurukul, but it contrasts with the friendship between how Krishn treated Sudaamaa and how Drupad treated Drone, when Drone came to Drupad to ask only for one cow from his share of Drupad's kingdom. This frendship could be developed in a good friendship, but ..... mad with power, King Drupad humiliated him by telling him that the friendship cold exist only among the similar people not unequal people. By contrast, Krishna never forgot His friend and treated Sudaamaa with utmost respect, although their friendship was only of 8 months.

By His example, Krishn is teaching us about how to treat one another even though one is utterly poor and the another is the Master of Tri-Lok. . Krishn-Sudaamaa friendship is an immortal example of real, non-materialistic friendship. It is a perpetual symbolic definition of real friendship.

Lord Brahma replied, "O Tulasee, Sudaamaa was a partial expansion of Krishn and was one of Krshn's cowherd boyfriends in Golok. As a result of a curse by Raadhaa he is presently living on earth among the Daanav (demons). His name is Shankhchood. He is very energetic and no one can compare with him in strength. While living in Go-Lok, he was very attracted to you and wanted to marry you. But because he feared Raadhaa, he did not make any overtures."

Sushma Gupta
www.sushmajee.com