Monday, August 22, 2011

100/0 Principle to Maintain a Relationship

We all have relationships, some are god-made and some are our own-made. We cannot interfere in God-made relationships, but we certainly control our own-made relationships.

Brian Tracy said..."Eighty percent of life's satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships." Think about it... When you look back at the end of your life what will really matter of those relationships? Five words... the quality of your relationships.

So here's the question: If your relationships are very important part of your life, then what are you doing to make them all they should be?

The message is truly life-changing.
You've probably heard me say, it's not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it, that turns the switch from "Off" to "On" and "On" to "Off".  This principle, if applied  with right earnest can make even your marriage better and greatly improve your relationships with your own family members, friends, co-workers and...even your boss. Here's a brief excerpt from The 100/0 Principle. Enjoy!

What is the most effective way to create and sustain great relationships with others? It's The 100/0 Principle: You take full responsibility (the 100) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the 0) in return.

Implementing The 100/0 Principle is neither natural nor easy for most of us, because it takes real commitment to maintain the relationship and a good dose of self-discipline too to think, act and give 100 percent.

The 100/0 Principle applies to only those people in your life where to maintain the relationships with them is the most important to react automatically or judgmentally. Each of us must determine the relationships to which this principle should apply, because except for a few relationships, everybody has his own specific relationship to maintain. For most of us, first it applies to our family, a few friends, and then it applies to work associates, customers, suppliers.
So then how should we proceed -
STEP 1 - Determine what you can do to make the relationship work...then do it. Demonstrate respect and kindness to the other person, whether he/she deserves it or not.
STEP 2 - Do not expect anything in return. Zero.
STEP 3 - Do not allow anything the other person says or does (no matter how annoying!) to affect you. In other words, don't take the bait.
STEP 4 - Be persistent with your graciousness and kindness. Often we give up too soon, especially when others don't respond in kind. Remember to expect nothing in return.

At times (usually few), the relationship can remain challenging, even toxic, despite your 100 percent commitment and self-discipline. When this occurs, you need to avoid being the "Knower" and shift to being the "Learner." Avoid Knower statements/ thoughts like "that won't work," "I'm right, you are wrong," "I know it and you don't," "I'll teach you," "that's just the way it is," "I need to tell you what I know," etc.

Instead you should use the learner statements/thoughts like "Let me find out what is going on and try to understand the situation," "I could be wrong," "I wonder if there is anything of value here," "I wonder if..." etc. In other words, as a Learner, be curious!

Principle Paradox
This may strike you as strange, but here's the paradox: When you take authentic responsibility for a relationship, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility as well. Consequently, the 100/0 relationship quickly transforms into something approaching 100/100. When that occurs, true breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations and their families.

Try this, you will be benefited.

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